Rudders

Last week I was reminded by one of my "rudders" that I still have a lot of work to do and probably always will. You see, three years ago I realized that I was far from being the person I thought and farther from living the life I wanted. If I was going to change, I needed a few people in my life to help keep me on course, hold me accountable and tell me the truth I can't see.

Having "rudders" is hard because you have to trust them so much that when they tell you things you don't like, don't believe, don't want, you still listen and change. This was such a tough thing for me to do because I was "built" on learning and figuring things out all on my own. However, 'on my own' usually creates blind spots, here's one...

After months of rinsing and repeating, I finalized version 1.0 of my LIFE opus. A critical realization I had while working on it was that I had to prioritize myself if I was going to be the husband, father and friend I wanted to be. The three critical pieces of prioritizing my self are: 1) seek wisdom and truth, 2) live with purpose, courage and an open mind, 3) continue learning, evolving and growing my mind and body.

Fortunately one of my rudders really read my opus and took his role in my life to heart. He reminded me that I say it's important to learn, evolve and grow my body, yet I was not. This is why rudders are needed and they suck. He was right, I was not doing the thing I wrote to live the life I want. I committed to him that I would either write down specific things that I will actually regularly do to live this or I'd take it off my opus altogether. Having something written on there and not doing it is nothing short of lying to myself about who I literally am compared to who want to be.

Good shit and tough shit.