"Hmm" and a nod...

So I recently started taking up tennis. About 5 months ago I did indoor group lessons until the weather got warm and then I began taking private lessons from a kid who runs our park district program. When I say 'kid', I'm saying it in the coolest sense... he's 22, a recent college grad (finance), has decided to delay going into the business world via becoming a CPA to teach tennis. But it's so much more.

We first met Nik when Julie signed Lily up for lessons because the prices through our park district were really affordable - almost ridiculously so. Since then Julie took a private lesson or two, then she signed me up for weekly lessons and now Miles too. Nik isn't shy but he isn't outgoing either. He doesn't stand on his head to entertain or shout to get you motivated. He typically works 8-10 hour days outside in the St. Louis heat with people of all ages and levels - speaking from experience, as typically his last lesson of the day, he gives me as much as he gives the first. He's consistent, fully engaged and inspired from within. He's confident but in a personal way. I guess the best way to say it is he believes.

After my first lesson I was curious about his story because I was once living a similar dream when I was 22, playing professional soccer and coaching. However, the monumental difference between me at 22 and Nik is that I was asleep during my dream and he is wide freakin' awake. So I asked him point blank why he was doing this - he said I just really like to help people get a little better every time. I remember giving a sincere "Hmm" while nodding my head. He fired the same question right back and while my reply wasn't as selfless as his, it was definitely just as personal - I wanted to beat my wife.

As I've gotten to know him over the last couple of months, he just continues to bring out the "Hmm's" in me. He went on a vacation with his family to Disney World and talked about the trip and the rides like he was 13 - I think he said Toy Story 3 was his favorite. A couple weeks later Julie brought him a huge cup of ice from our house and when he returned it to me he made a point to tell me that he even washed it. I questioned him and he replied with a "No, I seriously did." I questioned him again with a little more determination to catch the 22 year old kid in a lie, "You washed it or your mom washed it?" He snipped back that he doesn't live at home and I said, "But you still go on family vacations?" He said, "Yeah, what's wrong with that?" "Hmm" and a nod.

One night Julie and I played on the court next to him during one of our date nights and he said "hi" but didn't talk to us after that because he always gives his full attention to the person he is coaching. However, at my next lesson before we started he, this kid, sat next to me, an "adult", and said how I really need to start playing with confidence... you're better than you think, you just don't believe it yet. He suggested that it is so much better to go down swinging than just trying to keep the ball in play. "Hmm" and a nod.

Last week he brought a demo for me to try out. It's the racquet Djokovic (ranked #1 in the world) uses. At first, I couldn't hit it for shit because the racquet I used before was Julie's spare which is over-sized and meant to help generate power. This racquet is substantially smaller and as Nik says, "as close to wood as you can get". Needless to say, I went home asking Julie to look into other racquets because clearly that racquet was just way too much for me.

I showed up for my lesson last night with Julie's racquet in hand. He missed my non-verbal queue and still brought me the Djokovic. I quickly told him that I think he is over estimating my ability and that I didn't understand why he would recommend I use such a high level racquet. He didn't blink, didn't smile, didn't waiver - again not in a pretentious "know it all" way - but in a sincere believable way he just said, you have a really good swing when you actually swing like you mean it. He reminded me of the earlier discussions on confidence and going down swinging and my big dream of beating Julie and said this is the tool for you. "Hmm" and a nod.

Well last night we hit the shit out of the ball and after a couple of points where I out lasted him, he just smiled at me from across the court. It's not that he never smiles, it's just that this smile different, it wasn't his, it was a mirror image of mine. I was getting it, I was starting to believe - more in him, more in me, more in the racquet, more in my big dream and that made him smile.

So when I got home and finished telling Julie all about how crazy cool that kid Nik is, I texted him:

Thanks for the lesson tonight. I really appreciate your positive spirit and energy especially after a full day. See you next week.

He replied right back:
Not a problem. Its worth the work to see such a big improvement. Thanks!

I don't just do

I'm emotional, I just am. My kids are the greatest, they just are. Music is better when delivered live or interpreted through dance, it just is. I love my job, I DON'T just do. I don't just love my job, I have had to work really hard to find my OPUS. For as long as I've been working, I've never loved my job more AND never worked harder, funny huh? Playing professional soccer was the closest thing to it but even that wasn't as great because now I've truly authored my work.

A couple of months ago I was presented with the opportunity to lead development of a test pilot program bringing digital technologies into a New Balance store. As I sat down and began dreaming, I remembered how frustrating it has been with the brick and click program to continue answering the same questions of "what is this about... what are we doing... why are we doing this" and since this was on the heels of delivering our company OPUS, I decided to write one for this project. The ACT of doing this brought all of my emotional passions into a living document to guide the way. It wasn't, hasn't and isn't going to be easy, but it has been clear on what this is all about.

Well today was the first time we showed it to anyone outside of the core team working on it and to hear it presented, see the dream coming to life and to get the response from others believing in it too, has brought a sense of true purpose I could have only dreamed of. The true purpose is that I, David John Deck, emotional father to the world's three greatest kids and lover of live music and dance, has a big dream. I authored and shared that dream, I grew the dream with the help of others and am living that dream. This didn't "just happen", it isn't "just" anything... it's my purpose.

The reason I'm writing this tonight is to remind myself of a couple of things. Loving your job doesn't just happen, if it does you're luckier than me. Loving your job takes real, hard work AND great leadership. In my life... Joe believes it's important to invest in my development via BTL, Chet models the way to live your big dream, and Rob D. heard me, the organ player in the weeds, and turned him up.

God help me REALLY get this, God REALLY help me give this.

There's always more...

Today I learned a couple of things I don’t want to forget. Life has a funny way of convincing you that there will come a day when you “get it” or “get there” but if that were true then what’s the point in learning MORE or living another dream?

I have been writing like a banshee for a while now… it started with a work OPUS, then a personal one, then a S.CORE. I am getting close to hanging these up outside my office, behind my door and on the garage at home because by “finishing” them for some reason I kind of believed they were done. When actually, I think they are just beginning if I’m living out my overarching vision of being growth minded. You see I was stonewalling a fellow builder who just didn’t believe in a business strategy Kevin and I wrote because, well, I didn’t open my mind. I got it, I thought everyone else got it, and one person “not getting it” must just be an anomaly. However, I was gently reminded that I still have work to do in living my life with an open mind… and for that I’m humbled and thankful.

Secondly, I’ve been beyond blessed by the BTL proven methodology and more specifically Chestnut. What has really been interesting is to see him in different “lights” / rolls and then realize how much MORE there really is. When I first met Chet, he was “Tony Robbin’s” to me. A motivational speaker with a way with words. He would say things like, “I’m exhausted” after a practice and I thought he was full of dung. As Chet continued to share his voice, I began to hear it MORE clearly. I could actually see how he really said what he meant, meant what he said AND lived what he said. This authenticity, realness, commitment and belief are the real deal and that is rare – it just is.

It wasn’t until I met up with him and his daughter to pick up t-shirts and coffee mugs for last practice where this “MORE” became so much MORE. He was Chet AND a Dad. Both rolls gave me MORE insight into the other. Seeing him with his daughter showed me that he is just like any other working dad lucky enough to be on the road together, one heading to school – the other to work: they laughed, they teased, they spoke the same family dialect. He instantly became MORE than Chet the facilitator.

Then that encounter was quickly followed up by being able to see Chet “work” with the next group of BTL stallions in the Shop NB world. Because I had been through this before I was listening, watching, learning in a whole new way and consequently I saw MORE. During the first practice with the 20, I was fighting every urge I had to give them all of the answers, show them the way, tell them all of the secrets. AND what I saw in Chet was a man working his ass off to hold back the reigns, fight like crazy to let the moment / pain / learning / growth happen slowly AND purposefully. At the end of that practice when he said, “I’m exhausted”… I got it, I really got it MORE.

And again today, how lucky am I to be learning so much MORE than the average person? How lucky am I that I have people in my life who also want MORE? How great is it to know that MORE is possible? Today I learned that 2% out is plenty, but 100% in is mandatory AND it’s really important to see MORE in others to really get to know them. And in life as well, there’s always MORE…

DD

Pack Animal

So ever since our last BTL practice with the new 20, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the Anais Nin quote, "We don't see things how they are, we see things how we are." Funny how I've heard the quote before, except this time it stuck a little differently. If we see things how we are then there is great value in trying to learn how others see the same things AND even better, let others tell us how they see things in us - truth in love, but not in the tell someone "they suck", throw on a "truth in love :-)" sense - truth in love BUILT ON TRUST.

I've really been struggling lately to understand why I can't find the motivation and discipline to push myself harder to workout. I want to be healthy, I want to be in shape, I want to look better than I do, but still that's not enough. I've been doing a lot of thinking but also a lot of asking - this is new for me - I've reached out to a few that I really trust, that know me as well as any one can, and don't just tell me what I want to hear, but tell me what they see.

Someone told me today that I'm not a self disciplined person *truth* I'm a social disciplined person *tell me more*. When I'm a part of a "pack", my love for the group brings out a commitment in me that is strong, real and disciplined AND has often times lead to me becoming the pack leader. It just does. Since I'm more wired to be a member of a pack, my discipline will come when I have purpose other than that of my self. I'm just not built like an eagle who hunts alone - it's not enough to motivate me. But surround me with a distinct yet deeply connected pack and you'll see ME there.

Are you asking others what they see?
Are you building trust so that you can really share 'truth in love'?

God help me to do this more...