Sunrise, Exercise, Intrigue = 1

Yesterday was the first meeting with another. He's not the first to participate in this test but I'll call him 1. The word of the day was Contradiction. I saw it all over the place.

--> Left one job because solving problems created by mismanagement burnt him out. And yet what he loves about owning his business is the challenge to help businesses solve problems.
--> Service or product or both?
--> Hates businesses with layers of bureaucracies and inefficiencies that impede innovation and yet their biggest client is the Goliath of dysfunction.
--> Is an "Influencer" who has lost his voice.
--> An organized individual, a natural problem solver with good game plans who isn't having the "success" he wants at the office and home.

We revisited the birth of the passion that grew from taking a sabbatical:
1) Sunrise
2) Exercise
3) Create a website
--> Intrigued by the opportunity to connect right brain and left brain thinking.

Does this sound like a game plan or what? Sign me up for some of this! I bet it couldn't be farther from the game plans he has now. Do you think his "summits" have this expectation and setting? I digress...

The lightbulb moment came when 1 discovered dynamic coding. "Why" I asked, "What specifically changed when you discovered it?" His response was delivered at a different pace than our conversation had been up until that point. He sat up in your chair, you leaned in / on the table and spoke from the place he needs to more.

Dynamic Solutions - not hard code (sounds a bit like the start of a melody line to me).

He started with a PIM interface - give the business owner the ability to dynamically manage their own product information... He quickly connected this to the shopping cart so that the solution was complete. Wait, is this an OMS product? Fuxinating.

His inquisitive nature that can see a problem and fix it, now had a flexible solution model that can enable others to act like you. 1, read this again, it's big, don't miss it... "Your product has purpose beyond just a tool, just a solution, just a service. Your product is an extension of you and your core strengths."

I still didn't believe he had clarity regarding the relationship between the service he provides and product he sells. He mentioned a company we both knew and I got it. HOWEVER, we both acknowledged their service would have never been enough if their product wasn't right FIRST. So I asked him, "what is your top priority? what is your organization set up to be great at? where are you spending your time and energy as the leader?"

I asked him to tell me how he is using his core strengths at home and how that is working. He answered honestly and simply - it's not necessarily working how I want. Funny how work and life tend to reflect each other and yet most don't see the connection.

Here is where the hardest work will be. It's not about the brand slogan or logo or site design, it's about the leader leading. It's about the leader having crystal fucking clarity on who they are, why they are and what they want. It's about a leader who is authentically living the same life at work and home because to him there is no difference. It's about the leader getting fed up with "mismanagement" and doing something about it starting with a sunrise, exercise and intrigue.

More...

Days like today are proving my OPUS Project hypothesis right...

Being creative is magic but not magical. It isn't just for the artists, musicians, or poets. It is a skill all of our brains have but rarely use because it isn't considered "useful" in most business jobs. I'm discovering that the process of writing, when you typically engage the "useful" conscious self monitoring part of the brain, and then discussing those thoughts can activate the autobiographical self expressive part of your brain resulting the convergence of what you know to be true to the why you believe it to be true... MAGIC.

Today me and GG sketched out what we had learned at our last meeting. We looked at the white board and both started to see the melody line. Busy, busy, busy... there literally is NO COMMA's in her life. She can't sit still, feels guilty sitting still, doesn't like to sit still. Wants more but doesn't know what more is.

I was at a loss and didn't know how to move forward so I asked someone for advice / input. I asked someone who has an innate ability to consume endless amounts of both qualitative and quantitative data then make sound, decisive decisions. Someone with high emotional intelligence and good intuition.

I asked GG to write a letter to herself.

The request struck a nerve - ugh, there is pain here. As she sat and thought about this task, her brain started to do it's think and connect the dots between some experiences in her past where pain was managed by "busy-ness". When I tell people discovering your OPUS is going to be tough, this is the shit I'm talking about. This is also the shit most people run away from, most people turn up their "conscious self monitoring" to avoid the pain of self expression. I don't think GG will because she wants more.

GG hates comma's

"You must hate comma's" was a phrase told to GG by her dearest love who kindly read and edited some of her writing. This immediately struck me like a big truth, GG missed the melody line. In grammar, a comma is mainly used to separate parts of a sentence such as clauses or items in lists. AND it almost always represents a pause when reading.

GG hates comma's - translation - GG hates pauses. TRUTH! You see GG is thinker about anything and everything, loves information, loves progress, loves making decisions and getting shit done. We discovered her dearest love requires comma's - this is good - they will balance each other out.

One of GG's Unique Skills lies in her ability to consume endless amounts of both qualitative and quantitative data then make sound, decisive decisions. She's a smarty pants with high emotional intelligence and good intuition - this will take her far. It's why she "chose" her current job over another - something inside told her - now we know what that something is.

It's been there all along, even written in all of the assessments and feedback she pursues. But today, we really discovered it, called it out, owned it so that she can understand leverage the glory of this Unique Skill!

Freakin' magic.

GG, Honesty and Bravery...

Today, me and GG (girly girl) met to discuss the homework she had... "define what it means to be a woman". Much to my chagrin GG started the meeting off with a barrage of information generally regarding this task. High performers do this AND so do people who want to avoid something - funny huh. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and listened intently on what she wanted me to hear. At one point, she called special attention to a quote she wrote about herself...

"Being honest allows me to be brave and being brave allows me to be honest."

HONESTY is a big deal to this chica. Honesty in the literal sense and in a much broader / more personal / more purposeful sense. Honesty for GG is about telling someone the things others won't... honesty is about being direct with someone and not giving them bull shit... honesty is about being forthcoming so that good things come out of it.

BRAVERY, by definition is courageous behavior or character. Courage comes from the latin word COR which denotes the "heart" as the seat of feelings. In other words, courage is the ability to {{{fill in the blank}}} with your whole heart without conceding to fear, pain, judgement, criticism.

So for GG, delivering truth in love to help others allows her to live with her whole heart and living with her whole heart allows her to deliver truth in love. Powerful shit!

So what makes this brave truth teller unique, special, better than most? She's a woman. She has a heighten sense of emotional intelligence, able to see multiple perspectives, can take into account the feelings and emotional state of her audience.  Can you think of any other characteristics you would want in a person who is providing you with honest, candid, forthcoming feedback?

We didn't get many things written down regarding the task of "defining what it means to be a woman", but we did get ONE very powerful statement about GG crystal clear. Here it is, don't miss it, it's HUGE:

"Being honest allows me to be brave and being brave allows me to be honest. Being a woman enhances my ability to do both."

Limitless Potential

I met with a strong, honest, driven female today to talk shop.  I’ve only met a few women like her in my life let alone spent time being able to help build into one.  You see, she is in from the generation of women who grew up with an internal belief that they have limitless potential and opportunities because they are girl.  Imagine that mental jet fuel – LIMITLESS POTENTIAL.

We agreed to hone in on defining how this rare bird is distinct in her own right.  There are a few things we know, some things we will discover along the way, other things we need to dig into and of course, more we will find later.  This is not a race, there is no start or finish, only a willingness to participate.  She is going to start by defining what it means to be a woman.  This will be a good first challenge so my advice was to be honest, curious, and don’t squelch thoughts or ideas as the enter your stream of consciousness – just write it down.

How many of you have the courage to not only face your self in the mirror but call it out?  Scary shit.  Takes a strong, courageous type – the kind who will most certainly change the world they live in and most likely others worlds too.  Thank you for letting me walk with you on this journey.  I’m excited to see how high the sky is for you.

The magical DISC

I just spent a good hour with a strong "D" talking about where work and play intersect within a business. Shockingly we both agree on where that is considering I'm a strong "I". You see, a strong "D" is wired to place emphasis on accomplishing results, the bottom line and is confident... whereas a strong "I" places emphasis on influencing / persuading others, openness and relationships.

So how can this alignment be possible?

This "D" has a slight mutation in his D-NA, he demands an open mindedness of himself to be a counter balance to his decisive nature. This is some seriously hard shit to do for a strong "D". AND, the "I" has learned and accepted that a strong "D" is imperative to long-term sustainable growth of a culture that plays. Chaos ensues if we only live in the "what if" and "can we" without the "did we".

Individually they are both a strong "ME", together they are a strong "WE". Add in a strong "S" and "C" who lean against their tendencies and align with this philosophy and the magic will really take hold. Funny how simple it can sound and yet rare it is in real life. I'm learning so much right now about the real role of the leader - whether they are a strong "D", "I", "S" or "C". They need to live in a place of awareness that sees the picture in a different light and ensures the team is balanced in bottom line results, optimism and wonder, cooperation and stability, quality and accuracy. If they can't, don't or won't - the organization will tend towards the characteristics of the leader.

Do you know any leaders who are willing and demanding that the organization to be less like themselves? Do you know any leaders who actually give others control to do so? Do you any leaders who accept who they are and aren't?

I never saw this blind spot in my leadership until I was "forced" to take a step back / out. Thank you for this time and opportunity to learn.

Determination Smiles

Last night while climbing into bed Miles looked at me and said, "Dad, will you pull my tooth out?" I checked it and on a scale of 1 being barely loose and 10 being out, he was about a 4. I explained that I didn't think it was ready but he didn't flinch, "Dad, pull it out."

First pull was a stinger, he laughed from the pain but more out of of excitement. When he felt that it was still in, he willingly opened for another tug. I started giggling too because of his reaction to the conflicting emotions: determination, pain, and excitement. Round 2, nada, not even blood. We had some work to do and were both in a full blown laugh-fest.

I'm not sure how many shots we took at it but it did eventually come out. I haven't seen Miles so proud and excited, me too. He faced the pain head on, laughed a little along the way and celebrated his victory. Pretty good recipe for us all to follow. Here's my little man...

Joe Schmo

I'm embarrassed to admit that I recently DVR'ed the Joe Schmo Show.  I have a fascination with watching what people will do when no one is watching.  Another show that is probably more acceptable is "What would you do?" with John Quinones.  Back to Schmo... now the Joe knows he's being recorded but he doesn't know that everyone else involved with the show is in on a secret.  They are all testing and pushing him to see what he's really made of and this Joe was legit.

The producers and actors presented the Joe with scenarios involving temptations around greed, lust, selfishness, testing integrity, facing fear. And every, EVERY time, he was as solid as an oak tree.  Why a tree and not a rock you ask? A rock is lifeless, it just sits there. Where as a tree grows, moves and has life.  The Joe wasn't a robot, he didn't just go through the motions of doing the right thing, he was full of emotions.  He struggled, he laughed {at himself mostly}, he battled, got angry and lastly got overwhelmed.  When they revealed the secret, he wept.  I think it was because in that moment he knew he passed the test. He knew that his core was strong AND real because it was there when he didn't know it was being watched.

I have a perpetual fear / insecurity of being found out as a fraud.  As hard as I try to live my life "right" (whatever that means), I can't stop worrying about a day I'm presented with a test and fail publicly.  Don't get me wrong, I know we all "fail" more than we succeed, but I want to be more comfortable in that.  I want realistic expectations of what "right" means.  And as crazy as this is going to sound, I got a little more clarity from the Joe, Chase Rogan, an every day average Schmo who just so happens to have a strong core worth making a show about... pretty impressive, not too shabby.

Competitive Determination

The problem with having children is that they are just all so different.  The minute you think you have some parenting thing figured out, one of them goes off and has their own unique personality.  Enter the difference between Lily and Miles.  Lily has emotional intelligence off the charts, Miles not so much.  Miles has a competitive determination, Lily no speaka that language.

We recently realized this in a very real and important way. You see, we couldn't understand why Miles was so blase when he did something wrong.  He literally ignores all social queue's that we were upset or disappointed. So after Miles told a nice, big, fat lie at school, we put our realizations to the test.  I was going to be overt and purposefully over the top (what's not normal about that right) with my disappointment.  My queue's were going to be unmistakable and consistent.  Julie was going to be Jiminy Cricket in his ear, telling him what she sees and what he should do about it.  I'm still in awe at the thought of this, but it turned out to be a huge step in the right direction (probably for me more than him).

The first day after the big, fat lie, Miles was being extra nice to me despite my furrowed brow and silence.  He would snuggle up to me, kiss me, make jokes and acted like nothing was wrong. I finally gave him a verbal warning that I'm still very upset.  He slunk down physically and emotionally, Julie was there to coach him.  After a few moments he came to me and started babbling his way through an apology.  I told him that I wasn't ready and that I wanted him to think more about what he has done and wants to say.

Sure enough the next morning, Miles had forgotten all about the situation he was in and went back to trying to kill me with kindness.  Again, my queues were ignored only this time Julie reminded him.  I expressed disappointment that he had forgotten what I asked of him and he slunk down. Again, Julie was there to explain what was going on and spent the day talking it through with him and prepping him for my return from work.

That night when I walked in the girls ran up to me like they always do and Miles kept his distance.  He approached me after a couple of minutes and asked to talk to me in private.  We went up to his room, I sat on his bed and stood in front of me.  He took a deep breath, looked me straight in the eyes and began the first genuine, honest, heart felt apology of his 6 year life.  It took everything I had to not smile with pride, hug him and congratulate him.  Instead, I told him that I really appreciated his apology, that I forgave him and looked forward to building trust with him. One brick at a time.

Miles doesn't quit, he figures stuff out, even emotional shit like this.  From the day we got him, this is just who he is.  A friend was over at the house and explained how there was this magnet game at the last classroom birthday party that no one could figure out.  All the kids had attempted and quit because it was too hard.  She explained how Miles worked on it for 45 minutes, moving a step ladder side to side the whole time.  There was another time I personally watched him climb a giant 20 foot spider web thing-a-ma-jig that had multiple layers of nylon straps crisscrossing. There were only big kids (10+) playing on it because they could leverage their height to be in multiple layers at once. Miles on the other hand being shorter, figured out a strategy of his own by using the outside netting as leverage.  After taking 5 times longer than anyone else, he finally made it to the top sweaty as can be, slid down the slide, gave me a high five and went onto the next challenge.

Thank you Miles for showing me who you are and letting us help you work on the things you aren't. I only wish I had your competitive determination. You are going to change the world one day, I just know it.

Little, Brown, And Proud Of It

Today I asked Lily and Miles to stand back to back. He passed her up, he hit some crazy growth spurt and probably won't look back. Miles celebrated and Lily congratulated. She explained to me how she always knew she'd be small and really likes it. Her words were genuine and honest, they pretty much always are. Here's more validation why I know this for sure...

Friday night she had a "half over" where kids hang out until bed time and then go home. When I picked her up, she showed me a picture her friend had given her but had some perspective to add. She explained that her friends printer was running out of ink and that is why she looks "different". Not really sure what she was talking about, I asked her elaborate. She pointed out how the skin of all 4 girls in the picture looked the same. Fuxinating. I smiled and joked that is what she would look like if she looked like me and she replied, "yuck, I love my brown skin." To which I sincerely and truthfully replied, "yeah, me too."

The sense of self this 7 year old has is baffling. She already knows who she is and isn't. And if that isn't enough, she loves what she knows. I don't know if this is normal for now and eventually she'll end up doubting and loathing like the rest of us, but it sure is inspiring. She helps me be more courageous everyday. It's why one of my core beliefs in life as a parent is to first be a student of your children, then a teacher. Thanks again for showing me the way little child.

Bad words...

Lily and I write in a Daily Happiness Journal every night. It's been a really good small little discipline to think about one thing from the day that made us happy. Tonight she wrote, (and I first quote, "Daddy this is going to make you cry.") "I went to dinner with my Dad's Mommy and Daddy." I wrote, "So cool!" (making the two "o's" into the eyes of a smily face.)

She then told me about how some kids at school laugh when the word "class" is spelled because of the word "ass" in it. I was now smiling for real and asked, "what's ass mean?" Lily said "butt" while maintaining a straight face. She expanded stating that any word containing "ass" like grass, mass, sassafras makes the kids giggle.

I asked what other "bad" words she knows... stupid, hate, kill, dumb came out quick. Imagine that, those are what she considers bad. What the fuck happened to me that those words lost their "badness"? How different would our world be if those were in fact words we bleeped out on TV shows? Children (especially mine :-) have an uncanny way of putting things into perspective.

Here's my separate Happiness Journal entry:
Today I'm humbled by the wisdom of my 7 year old. She makes me a better person each and every day.

Unbearable and Supernatural

Friday was one for the books. A dear friend of mine came to share some serious magic shit with me. While we've only known each other for some 7 years, we've grown up together.

I met this person early in my professional career. I was SO young and naive and unclear and... not a leader of myself first and foremost. We went through a lot of shit together and alone. We built each other up and tore each other down. We agreed to be truth tellers and sought for that truth to come from love but it wasn't always that easy, that's where the depth of our friendship came. Truth hurts AND it sets you free, poison and wine.

Near the end of our day to day time together, things got really tough. We'd both realized one of our paths needed to change. This was not the easy choice, doing the right thing usually isn't. It would have been so much easier, and even probably been 'OK', had we not done anything at all. But that is not what either of us want for ourselves and each other. We want purpose, happiness, fulfillment, joy... and the truth was, making the decision to go after that was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my professional career.

That is until Friday when it came full circle and I saw first hand how the choice to face your fear can bring a new life. Words couldn't begin to describe the energy and change that happened in a little over a month. I couldn't believe what I was hearing but then again it felt perfect and right. My friend changed their life, grabbed the chronic pain by the throat and said "enough". My friend came to officially say goodbye but ended up leaving a lifelong lasting mark on my soul. The pain involved in facing your shit is unbearable and the courage is supernatural. I got a front row seat at this fellow builders journey and for that I will be forever grateful.

Thank you my friend and good luck. Don't stop believing that this life can give you more than we deserve and you deserve every bit of it.

Today I learned... a lot

Today I am beat, a good tired and a hard tired. I started my day with a visit to my brain mechanic for a tune up. I had been on a pretty strict weekly maintenance schedule with him for about 3 years, but this holiday got away from me and not regularly getting together definitely caught up to me. I need this discipline in my life because without it my brain will short out.

Today I learned that I have so much work to do on myself. AND that it can be depressing if my perception of that work is off: ie. I am weak or not right in the head or don't need it. Nope, I am me in all my glory, a beautiful ruin. I am not a man who wants to stand alone but have been hurt most when standing with the wrong others. Consequently, I've found confidants in my wife, a couple of brain mechanics, my brothers and my kids. They have taught me how to trust again. They are the ones who show up with me at the "gym" every time I don't want to "work out". Today, I was reminded that I need them, and a couple more, period.

Today, I was reminded how, much like working out regularly, the hard work is nothing compared to the benefits. Today, I was reminded that this path of facing your shit is the harder path, it won't be easy or fun, but it is the path a person who wants to live a life fully awake with purpose takes. If I want that, I choose the pain.

Then, if that wasn't enough to take in before 8:00am, I worked with the crazy architect and crazy furniture people to continue rinsing the plans for the new facility. I can't believe how much better it gets every time we continue going over the same things. Unbelievably exhausting but again, just the drill if you are committed to process.

I came home early to give my last nugget of energy to my family and what I got instead was the most pure love a person could ever receive. No ulterior motive, no expectations, no conditions, just them, all of them. Their presence, support, smile, hugs, kisses, laughter, play - I sniffed it in like it was the sweetest perform I've ever smelt, deep long breathes with my eyes closed.

Fruxtrations and Perfiction

Frustration is a funny thing, perhaps I should call it fruxtration. I wiki'ed "frustration" and found this:

"In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be."

Did you see it? There is one word that should free us all from being frustrated. It's right there in black and white and I tend to forget it more than I remember (which is why I'm writing about it :-). Ready for it? THIS IS HUGE...

perceived

Now go back and reread the wiki quote and key in on that word. Whats it say? Whats it mean? Frustration comes when there is a perception that something will stand in the way of the things we want. I generally recognize other people's perception as their reality. But my perception is something I can control if I continually challenge it. Most of the time when I have done this, I've found there was no real obstruction to the fulfillment of my will.

Remember David, frustration comes from fear, fear that someone or something is standing in your way. The way past fear is to face it. Go right into it and validate that facts from the perfiction.

Crazy train leaving the station

I'm involved in a crazy movement with some crazy people and its one of the most exhilarating projects I've been on in a long time. Last week a lease was signed. This lease represents so much... stability, belief, support and most importantly opportunity.

We've been doing our eComm thing for over a decade. We've gone from a few to a lot and now we are trying to become ONE. One group of distinct individuals who are deeply connected to the same goal: servicing customers with passion and purpose. That's it, but that's a lot when the one group is nearing 200 people.

I deeply believe the physical place we work in can be a catalyst for greatness. This belief was seared into me after I took at trip to Grand Rapids where some furniture people showed me the way. They opened my eyes to a concept that was unfamiliar prior to the trip. Imagine that, at 39 years young, I'm still learning. God I hope that never stops. They turn the cube space concept on its head.

We normally build space for people that gives them everything they "need" in about 150 square feet. By doing that we are encouraging / promoting sedentaryism. This furniture company says give up a little of the "me" space for more "we" space, right up my alley. Regardless of what job you do, people all work differently. You can't possibly be all things to all people in 150 square feet.

So we are close to unlocking a whole new way with the help of a crazy architect who thinks in ways I dream. We have some crazy furniture people who hold the execution key. We have some crazy senior leaders who have embraced and are committed to change. We have some crazy people who have history with us and are moving the day to day. And we have me and Kevin, two crazy brothers who want to give a gift to everyone that enables their passion and purpose. That's it, but that's a lot.

5 Things I Learned in Flo-Rida

I learned some really good stuff this past week during my trip to Florida for work.

1) I have to continue to lean against my tendency to not want to participate in the social side of work. There is so much value in having fun with people outside of the day to day. It builds a shared positive memory that connects you to something personal. It levels the playing field of who's who and what you do down to who you are and more importantly why you are.

2) Being given the mic is a serious responsibility and opportunity not to be taken lightly. I've gotten less nervous and more comfortable over the years through lots of practice being in these situations. Anytime you have a captive audience, even if only for a short moment in time, their time is a gift they are giving you, be purposeful with it.

3) I stink at beach Olympics. When it comes to sports, I've typically been a leader as a player, so when I find myself on a team of any kind, that side of me kicks in. However when it comes to work, my tendency as a leader is to try and optimize things which in the wrong situations, and without checks and balances, turns into over-thinking. I'm pretty sure I singlehandedly sabotaged a couple of events by coming up with outlandish ways to try and complete the challenge instead of just doing the task at hand. It would be equivalent to doing the 100 yard hurdle relay and I recommend that we dive head first over the hurdles and roll through the fall to keep momentum going. My brain desperately wants to find a better way and that has to be something I'm more aware and in control of because it can take something very easy and complicate it to the point of ridiculousness.

4) A lone nut can start a movement:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO8MwBZl-Vc

5) It's the COuRagE it takes to "dance" like no one is watching that people connect with. Being good at it is definitely not required.

Night-time Ninja Battle...

I've recently learned something fuxinatingly wonderful from my son. Two weeks ago, I found a night light that has a green and blue setting. These two colors matter to him because he's really into a show (Ninjago) where his favorite characters are Jay (blue ninja) and Lloyd (green ninja). So I got the idea to put it in his room and let him pick what color ninja he wants to fall asleep to.

The first night he picked green because LLoyd is his favorite and the most powerful ninja. The second night he switched to blue but decided to put his little Lego ninja characters right by the light. So after he went to bed I decided to switch the light to green and knock Jay off the ledge. The next morning, no comment, nothing. The third night he turned the light to green but this time he brought more of the ninja characters to the "party", Cole (black), Kai (red), Zane (white). That night I stood Cole on top of the light, turned it off (black), and spread the other ninjas all over his dresser. The next morning, no comment, nothing.

Some version of this has gone on almost every night and every morning.  I just don't understand why he isn't waking up every morning with bated breath excited to share the news that the Ninja's battled through the night and So-n-so won!  Nothing.  So I've watched/studied him more intently and purposeful these past weeks to try and understand what is going on.

Does he not "believe"?  I think he does because he's made random comments throughout the day like "Lloyd won Dad" and it won't hit me until later that may have referenced the Night-time Ninja Battle.  Does he not care?  I think he does because even last night when Cole pulled the nightlight down and crushed the other ninja's with it, Miles woke up concerned it was completely dark in his room.  When I came in and showed him what had happened he smiled and climbed back into bed requesting Lloyd take over watch.

The answer I've come to is that we are different, just that, nothing more.  I'm more sensitive and often times find myself playing in a world where magic and wonderment are required.  Miles' play usually centers more around building things that are real.  Lego sets, paper airplanes, race cars made of boxes.  He also loves to play games so that he can win - such a competitive little dude.  So, in lieu of this discovery about me and my son being different but the same, I've learned (once again) that is the drill with all of us.  Nothing more, nothing less.  If I can remember and embrace this just a little more than most, I think I'll find some really amazing windows and doors into new ways to see and live my life.

Thanks Mi-Ti...

First call to Uncle Vin

Lily was riding her scooter at the park, hit a huge crack while coasting down a small hill and flipped over the front. First big wipe out. Per the protocol, I was able to manage the situation by talking about Uncle Vin, how brave he is and how proud he would be if she were to get right back on. She did.

When we got home she asked to call and tell him her story. They exchanged words like two vets and I could see her badge of courage solidifying itself on her chest. When they got off the phone she grabbed a wet towel, wiped her knees and asked for the medicine. I went to apply and she said, "I got it".

My mouth is permanently frozen in the open position, with a slight smile coming off the corners. She learned so much today about herself, her Uncle Vin and the power of getting up after you fall and trying again.

Pay attention David.

Tomareo is today

Woke up this morning to this. As stated yesterday by my wise 7 year old daughter, so far she was spot on...

Tomareo will be beter

Today hurt. I struggled to find flow, confidence, courage and joy. I got stuck in anger and stress and doubt and fear. I took things too seriously, too personally. I took ownership of far more than I should. With me that's a defense mechanism. It protects me from being told I failed.

Fortunately I'm surrounded by a few who care. A few who tried to pick me up and would do more if they could. A family who gave me space but filled it with love. I don't deserve that for sure.

My daughter had a rough day too. Julie encouraged her to write about it. She did and felt better. We both write every night in a "Happiness Journal" a friend gave me and tonight she wrote, "Today was not a good day, but tomareo will be beter". She drew a sad face. I wrote, "me too" adding tear drops coming from the "oo"s. She laughed, I did too.