Ride the wave...

One thing I'm glad I learned is that with change comes a little bit of chaos.  Accepting this concept helped me embrace the "pain" of change because by definition, change disrupts, re-routes, alters - all of which usually has a domino effect and cascades into some variation of "CRAY". My tendency prior to learning this concept was to try and settle things down, get them back in order, manage/control the situation. Now, I ride the wave.  Its not easy and I'm not great at it (yet) but I am getting better.

This learning helped me at work and home.  At work, it gave me the courage to make changes that I knew would be painful and cause a lot of CRAY, but what we're starting to see grow from the change is already making us stronger, smarter, more diverse and able to go farther than I originally thought.  At home, I've become a better husband and father because I changed, not them.  I embraced my contribution to the "pain" most marriages have and chose to change.  That created some CRAY internal chaos in my head.  I forced myself to look in the mirror and ask the hard questions, who am I really and how far is that from who I want to be.  Then, I asked others (mainly my rudders) what they saw and that was when it got CRAY-CRAY.

Today, I'm sitting at the island in my kitchen on a Monday afternoon.  So what right?  For me, this is a much needed change.  Life with 3 kids is CRAY-CRAY-CRAY. There are times when I need to be flexible with work so that I can be around to help when one more CRAY comes into play.  Today, that's getting the furnace replaced... today, it's a sick wife who needs a little break in the middle of the day... today, I leave town for a couple of days.

Today was hard trying focus when my daughter wants to watch Kung Fu Panda and my son wants to play Legos. Today I saw how CRAY life is at home and how my "re-entry" into the family unit after work needs to be purposeful and seamless, not disruptive.  Today, I rode the wave and I liked it.